I haven’t mentioned this on here yet, but my partner and I are getting married in July. I dream about our upcoming wedding every night, and spend at least 4-5 hours a day actively researching or working on a wedding related project.
Our fertility clinic called me back, and the doctor is booked up solid until July. I am praying that they don’t try to give us an appointment on the week of our wedding. Praying.
I work shift work, so I sometimes sleep at strange times. I was sleeping this afternoon, in fact, when most normal people are out there doing normal daytime things. I had a really good nap, which is nice, because I work a 12 hour overnight shift tonight.
When I woke up, I had a missed call from a strange number on my phone. And as per usual, before I even listened to the voicemail, I Googled it, to see if I could identify the source. Aaaaaaaand it came back to the fertility clinic we’ve been referred to!
Listened to the voicemail (which just said my name and the doctor’s name and left a callback number) and called them back immediately, and got voicemail. Sad face! And now I am afraid to get in the shower, because I might miss their call back. Which is crazy, right? If I miss it, I will just have to talk to them tomorrow. Which isn’t the end of the world. Except that every time we make any sort of progress in our journey to parenthood, I am almost incapacitated by an incredible urge to hit a mystical fast-forward button, to jump ahead to a baby in my arms. And then it’s just too hard to breathe.
I am going to stop sitting here staring at my phone now, because I just looked on their website, and their office closed over an hour ago. It’s safe to have a shower now, right? Right. And also, I need to remember how to breathe again.
One of the things that is important to us (and don’t ask me why, because if we use logic and reason, there isn’t a single reason why this should be important) is that our child be genetically related to one or both of us, if at all possible.
For reasons that are complicated to explain, this isn’t super easy for either of us.
The solution we’ve come up with is to use my sister’s eggs, if we decide to go with surrogacy. She has tentatively agreed. 🙂
In Canada, it is illegal to pay someone for their eggs. So, egg donation in Canada is done one of two ways:
- you find a willing donor, and they do it out of the kindness of their heart (usually a relative or a friend, for obvious reasons)
- you pay for eggs from elsewhere–usually the United States–to the tune of approximately $18,000 in addition to the usual fees for the donation process, which are about $13,000.
Obviously, the first route is the best (and cheapest), for us. But it’s also difficult, because not every woman wants to endure the egg donation process. We are beyond thankful that my sister is willing and able to consider this. And if it doesn’t work out? We haven’t entirely decided, but at that point, we’d have to either choose adoption instead, or possibly wade into the quagmire that is traditional surrogacy (which I am sure I’ll post about at some point, but it’s a lot messier legally and emotionally).