One of the paths we could take to parenthood would be to adopt one of BC’s Waiting Children. But is this the right path for us? It’s something we’ve thought a lot about, and here’s a good list of pros and cons for us. Your pros and cons may vary!
- Very inexpensive. In fact, it’s pretty much free, except for transportation costs for seminars and classes.
- Quick. The process, from start to finish, takes months, rather than years.
- These children really need solid forever homes. In a lot of cases, they’ve been bounced from foster home to foster home, and have had birth homes ranging from bad to complete nightmare.
- No babies. We really would like a baby.
- These children have varying degrees of special needs, from minor behavioural issues, to needing 24/7 medical care. We’re not sure that we are equipped to deal with this. The paperwork they give you to fill out regarding which special needs you are able to deal with is absolutely heart-breaking. Every time we’ve filled it out (which we’ve done several times, and not submitted) we end up with our hearts and stomachs in knots–how do you say no to giving a home to children in these situations, even if you know you just can’t say yes?
The cons outweigh the pros for us, at least right now. We’re going to a free seminar in a few months on adopting a waiting child, and we’ll evaluate our feelings about it again then.
I visit the Waiting Children website at least once a week, and always end up crying after reading through the profiles. I feel like a complete asshole for not wanting to adopt a sibling group of four kids who need homes, or for cringing when I read what their special needs are. And then I remind myself that my fiancé and I both work full time, and have to continue to do that, so we just don’t have the resources to adopt four children at once, or even one child who needs special care. But then again, maybe we could? Argh. My heart flip-flops about this so much.